Death of a Cricket

I kept noticing that my cat Mercy kept pawing at the bottom of the couch and looking under it like something was there. Now we have a very real problem with scorpions and I have an incredible imagination that led me to believe there could be anything under there, from giant snakes to a very small midget that was hiding and plotting to kill us all in our sleep soooooooo I felt the incredible urge to check it out.

I lifted the end of the couch (since Craig is still recuperating from his "surgery". (Not that his surgery wasn't real but if I was telling this story in person I would definitely put it in air quotes because that's how I roll...) SO I LIFTED THE COUCH...and told Craig to look under and see what it was. (And if it had fangs or a very small pair of nun chucks to give me the signal and I would crush whatever it was with my might and the very large couch).

"Oh I said relieved, it's just a little cricket!" Mercy tried to pounce it but I yelled at her to stop. "Mercy it's just a cricket don't kill it, I'll put it outside." Then Craig "ever helpful" (that one got italics and AIR QUOTES), stomped it. I stared at him with my mouth open. (All the while still holding the end of the couch. "CRAIG! I just told the cat NOT to kill it I was going to put it outside." He goes, "Oh, uh I think it's too late for that..." See I told you he was super helpful (INSERT GIANT EYE ROLLING SMILIE HERE).