A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.

No truer words were ever spoken.

I don't really know what it was like to be single. Sure I was single all throughout high school. Except for those two magical prom nights (HEY, DAVID!). But seriously I didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't "date" and I was...okay with that. Maybe that's just me. It's not that I tried to isolate myself or didn't want to ever go out...I just didn't. I knew what I wanted. I wanted a Baptist preacher. And I knew I wasn't going to find one at Wild Bill's. (HEY AUDRY!)

Maybe I was just odd. I never attended a high school football game. I worked every friday night (HEY DIPPER DAN'S!). I didn't feel the need to "cruise" around with a boy, I friggin owned my own mustang, if I wanted to look cool and cruise, I did that alone. And I never particularly went on the "prowl" for a man.

There was one night that I went with two friends to a bar in Gainesville and I stayed maybe ten minutes. First of all I was pissed that I had to pay a "cover charge", what a FRIGGIN rip off, you're going to charge me just to come into your place of business?! Secondly I wasn't going to drink. Thirdly for those of you who haven't figured this out, I'M WHITE, so I don't dance...So I spent my ten minutes looking at the people around me, figuring out that I am WAY out of element here and realizing that if I wouldn't want to spend time in a place like this what would make me think I would want to find a boyfriend from a place like this.

And I'm not trying to belittle people who go to bars, if that's your thing, have at it. But DON'T go, pick up sorry men there and then complain that "there's no good men left in the world". Ummm hello, but the world is full of good men but you're not going to find them "dead drunk, shirt half unbuttoned, acting a fool, 9:30 on a Tuesday night". If this is when and where you're looking, STOP IT NOW. Instead get up early on Sunday morning, take the time then to do your hair and look your best and show up for church.

My point is, I'm no dating expert, I went from never having a boyfriend to being engaged six weeks later and I've never looked back. So I can't totally comprehend what it's like being single while all of your friends are married. I don't know how if feels to attend wedding after wedding thinking "when is it my turn"? I can't say "I've been there" or "I know what you're going through" or even "it'll all work out". I don't know when it'll be your turn, or where your future husband is or why he isn't with you right now or IF it'll even all be okay in the end...But I do know the One who does.

I am truly convinced that God let me enjoy working as much as I did in high school to keep me preoccupied. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and left to my own devices I would have self-destructed. God knew me well enough to know this. Being the normal hormonal teenage girl that I was given the right opportunity I would have screwed my life up. Of this I have no doubt. I would have dated the wrong one. Done the wrong things and gone to the wrong places.

God gave me a friend (as I would find out much later), to take me to prom. And then God just let me wait. He didn't parade a line full of eligible men my way and let me pick. He didn't open any more doors for anyone else to ask me out. And he didn't give me an all out desire to go on a "man hunt". He just told me to be patient and wait. And I did.

A few short months later God sent me my Baptist preacher. Casey and Alicia set us up on our first (blind) date which just so happened to be at church. (Coincidence? I think not). Now on the way when Craig called Casey to let him know he was running about five minutes late Casey did tell him "man did I mention to you that she's black?" Craig said "oh well, doesn't matter to me, I'm already dressed, I'm going to take her out anyway". (God has to love a good sense of humor)!

Give me a few short minutes and I'll bring my remarks to a close...(funny for those who know).

I don't claim to have had to wait as long as some of you have and I'm not going to pretend that it won't hurt if you don't have someone right now. But I do give myself credit for at least knowing where I did not want to find my future husband and not bothering to look there. I also knew what traits I wanted. (And I was pretty flippin specific: Baptist preacher). I'm not saying you have to be that picky but at least set some standard of values that you're looking for and if a man doesn't meet those then don't waste your time.

God made you in His image. That's pretty spectacular. He made you beautiful, wait for a man that sees that. He gave you all of your individual traits and he hand crafted you! The best part is in eternity past He looked to eternity future and picked out your help meet. He made you to compliment each other. He made you to fit together. He is the ultimate match maker! (Who do you think set up Adam and Eve)?!

It thrills my soul to think that God spent so much time pondering on each of us before time even began, to decide who would be funny...who would be quiet (like me...), who would be the life of the party always in the spotlight and who would be the strong back bone behind the scenes making it all work. And then He, in His infinite wisdom picked out our perfect match! And even though He took it so seriously and He spent time and labor making sure it was perfect according to His plan we take it so lightly.

We so often times don't even include God in our plan to search for a mate. We look for qualities that God is going "hello, I didn't instill that gift in them...step away from the steele drums, STEP AWAY, it's not what you're after!...*sigh* you were supposed to marry a doctor...you two were going to have a great medical mission and reach many lost souls, you were going to help heal in My name....but I mean the hippie band thing is good too....I'll see what I can do with that..."

I'm not going to lie to you, I enjoy me some good tv. I tear up new episodes of the Bachelor or Bachelorette. You put 25 highly emotional women in a house with some drama and let them wrestle for one pilot...that's good tv, I can't deny it. But am I ever recommending that you "vie for man's attention like that" or "cry as he picks some other floozie over you" or "compete for 'one on one' dates"? Absolutely not.

If a man wants to impress you tell him you don't need to "win a date card" just tell him to show up and take you to church. Tell him to come fifteen minutes early for your date so he has time to go inside and get to know your mama and your daddy. Tell him he can save his money on the flowers but open your door for you. Explain to him that you're important enough for him to date exclusively and if he doesn't realize that than he's not the one.

Or finally get this printed on a t-shirt: "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her". If he doesn't notice what it says that means he's looking into your eyes, paying attention to you, trying to figure out your soul and if you're the right one for him. Kudos for him. If he smugly trys to ask you what your shirt means, disregard that one, he's staring directly at your boobs.