DEAR KARMA,

I guess you didn't appreciate it yesterday when I made fun of my car on facebook. I guess it pissed you off. I guess you decided to get revenge...

So yesterday we're getting ready to go to church and I decided I had a few extra minutes, I'd take this time to tighten up the carseat. Now I'm a self proclaimed carseat nazi. I always keep Coop in the backseat, in the middle because it's the safest. So I'm pulling on the seatbelt to tighten it and THE WHOLE EFFING FRONT PART OF THE CLIP JUST COMES RIGHT THE EFF OFF IN MY HAND. Well that would have done a *mother puppy* lot of good had we been in a crash. It just FELL OFF. The seatbelt literally fell apart IN MY HANDS. Now my car is a piece of crap as far as the engine (and other unimportant parts) go but I thought the seatbelts were fine. My car is by no means new but it's a '99 which doesn't seem old enough for me to be able to rip away factory installed parts by my very own hands.

I was pissed. And livid. And had no greater urge than to light my car on fire and then push it down a hill and then spit on it.

So I moved Cooper to the side seat (aka: death seat) and we proceeded to church all the while I'm trying my VERY BEST to remember we're on our way to church, ON OUR WAY TO CHURCH, I have to be good, I'm teaching tonight, I cannot commit car murder yet...Not yet. I want my car to die.

It's very unsettling to think about what *could* have happened. It's really nerve wracking to know that I'm still driving the mother puppy P.O.S. and I'm sure that the other seatbelts are going to crumble at any minute.

I have never been so disheartened by a material object or as livid as a consumer as I am now. And that's saying a lot considering I have owned things such as a crimper and the beadazzler. I haven't exactly set my standards high. But this is crossing a line.

I have literally spent hours the last couple of days pouring over consumer reports, safety reviews and national safety charts trying to find the absolute best booster seats to purchase. My head is filled with trivia about 5 point harnesses, high backs, no backs, side impact wings and all of this is FOR NOUGHT CONSIDERING MY SEATBELTS FALL APART WHEN YOU TOUCH THEM.

So last night I'm telling Craig how this is unacceptable and something needs to be done and he's all like "it's okay, I'll look at it, probably I can fix it." Fix it? FIX IT?! This is not something that can be *fixed* with duck tape like we *fix* most things, this is our child's safety!

But it's okay, I've had a night to sleep on it. I'm calmer now. I'm rational. And I'm still pissed. But boy isn't chevrolet going to be sorry they messed with this girl. I mean I plan to bash and boycott them from now until forever. I guess when they teamed up with karma they didn't know this *mother pupper* had a blog with a following of TWELVE.

So suck it, karma. (And chevy, as for you, I wish you nothing but death).

My To Do List (and a litte bit of NATE the GREAT)

(my list) was going to include "BLOG" but I decided I could just knock that one out now. So I've gotten a few comments such as "friggin loser, where the F are you and why haven't you blogged in like a million years". Honestly, I have no excuse except that I *maybe* live the most boring life of anyone you know and probably no one could really give a care less what mundane crap I've been up to.

So halloween was fun. Cooper was a cowboy which I thought was totally cute and unique and a little old school until I found out every kid under the age of five was Woody from Toy Story. To clarify, Cooper was a COWBOY, not Woody.

I recently found out that a good friend (what up nate-nate?!) was going for his doctorate (honestly that's probably spelled wrong and I should take the time to point out now that I am NOT going for any type of higher education). So anyway he jokingly put on facebook that he'll soon require his friends to address him with his proper "doctor" title. I then immediately asked if he would deliver my next baby because it was the most inappropriate thing I could come up with on short notice. He then sent me a text message to the effect of: *gag* and *NOOOOO* and *i thought you were through having babies*. I then replied that I would be willing to bring my uterus out of retirement if the conditions were right (which by the way I thought was AMAZINGLY witty), however unfortunately he ceased to find the humor in it.

Shocking that the *good doctor's* sense of humor was the first thing to go..